Grab a copy of this month's issue of Multichannel Merchant If you are at all interested in doing catalog retailing, you can read about new catalog companies where sales in some areas are booming. For an industry overview, the National Mail Order Association is a good place to start or at least take a peek to see what it's all about. With the holidays right around the corner, you may want to survey your current customers because the trends for off-line catalog shoppers is on the rise.
It doesn't mean online shops are going to close, but if you're operating an online store it may be a good time to send a simple postcard or take a poll from your current customers to find out if they'd like to see a 'hold-in-your-hands' version for your holiday special. Be certain however that the costs justify the sales, no need in going crazy.
Speaking of catalog retailing, Business Know-How has a full section on direct mail selling that might interest you. There's a great Tips List from the Queen of Mail Order, Lillian Vernon. Lillian Vernon is a leader in the direct and internet marketing of gifts and housewares and was started on Lillian's kitchen table in 1951. How would you like to run a $287 million direct mail catalog business? It can be done! And just think about it this way, your customers will be much easier to find than they were in 1951!
What you will want to take away is this, Be different.
If all you're going to do is copy Joe Shmoe, then go find a job and happy trails to you. Being a solo entrepreneur is about thinking for yourself and taking action, not group-mind think.
Group think is like Group Sex, sounds good in theory but......ok, you get my point. Independent thought is what being a solo entrepreneur is all about - following the herd is being an employee.
Selling Your Customers To Your Competition! Long Post & Rant is FREE!
I've been seething over this and finally decided to share something that I hope isn't happening with your business - lack of good customer service.
Last week, I took my 75 year old mother to Bank of America because her finances are becoming more complicated for her to manage alone. What should have been an easy task turned into a major pisser of a pot-boiler for me.
Think they want customers to not come to the bank? My mother has an arthritic hip but the bank's customers seats are just right for a 50 pound 4-year old. We sat for well over 20 minutes while the 'staff' completely ignored us. Was the bank crowded at 10am on a Thursday morning? Except for the echo of paper-shuffling, the silence and lack of customers was deafening.
The three 'floor walkers' of course were the most obvious species because they were so animated, kind of like those Bobble-Head dolls.
One was having a 'hey baby' conversation in the center of the floor to someone bearing a striking resemblance to Ned the Wine-O, making us privy to the conversation at 30 decibels five seats away. Ms. Cell-Phone was yucking it up in her cubicle and turned her back to the lobby so she wouldn't be disturbed. The final loser, Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB looked directly at us and then turned to stare at her keyboard, didn't type anything - just stared at it.
Eventually, Ms. Cell-Phone came over to ask 'Do you need some help?! **This would be a good time to send the children elsewhere or leave because this is going to get worse. There is a lesson on customer service in it.**
My initial response was to tell her "Don't be stupid! We came in here because we had nothing better to do today except sit here listening to 30 decibel come-ons and watch Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB sit on her lard ass staring at her keyboard - but thanks for asking!", out of respect for my mother I didn't. Things went downhill from there.
Political correctness is going right out the window here. Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB is a tub-of-lard fat ass hauling 250 pounds of blubber on her entire body who came to work dressed in clothes 3 sizes too small. What ever happened to professional dress at work !
Ms. PIAB waddles and rolls like a ship in stormy seas over to tell my mother to come to her desk and she'll see IF she can can help her. Of course my thought was - "If you can't do anything banking related, what the hell are you doing here?!"
That should have been my signal to get out of there but I'm flexible and even an asshole deserves one chance. To make a long and sickening story about what not to do shorter, here's the conversation in total:
Ms. PIAB- What can I do for you today?
My mother - I want to add my daughter's name to my account.
Ms. PIAB- Who is the primary person on the account? **No, I didn't reach across the desk and choke her!"
My mother - I am, my name is Mrs.--------- --------
Ms. PIAB- What's the name on the account? **I'm getting closer to slapping this dumb-ass!
My mother - Mrs. ------ -------
Ms. PIAB- Ok. Then I need your ID and bank card (using my mother's first name only). **Excuse you? Here is where I jump in!**
GS: That's Mrs. mother's last name!
Ms. PIAB- Oh. Mrs. (mother's first name) **At 70+, my mother has earned the right to be called what she prefers. Where do they find these brain dead morons!**
Then I learned why she was starring at the keyboard, from the glazed look in her eyes and the slow-as-wet-paint typing - she had to be high and I'm not talking about on life!
After another 10 minutes, she asked for my ID. Gave her my US passport (I'm a born citizen with the NY attitude to go with it). Then she needed to have my credit card - this loser specifically said a credit card is a piece of ID!
The passport was a problem because she didn't know what my birth date was (it's on the passport you brain-dead crack-head!). Then my credit card became an issue. All my credit cards have added identity security just in case someone steals them - (I simply looooove my bank!).
Here's what Ms. PIAB tells me - Your passport won't do. I need something that has the same name that's on your credit card to add you to this account. NOBODY IS GOING TO LET YOU USE THAT PASSPORT WITHOUT THE SAME NAME AS YOUR CREDIT CARD! Homeland Security My Ass! Let me put you out your misery!!!!
Needless to say, I wiped out at least 3 months of Good Karma points - I wasn't arrested, so that's a good thing.
Georjina, What does this have to do with me and customer service?!
Everything! It's about training anyone representing your business to your customers. Who do you think gets their jollies when your customer service person is rude, insulting at best and totally incompetent at worst - yes, your competitors.
Here's a tip, make certain anyone who even comes close to any of your customers is not permanently Stuck-on-Stupid and has the ability to hold at minimum a basic, literate adult conversation (if you are a hip-hop related company, forget that last part).
Hopefully your customers consist of more than trailer park rejects and are not restricted to English speakers only. Train your people to ask intelligent questions or at the very least have a resource to turn to if they have questions. Don't allow laziness, rudeness or stupid people become part of your business and worse case, insult your customers - it will cost you more than you think.
Bank of America has never been a bank I'd recommend due to their employees serious lack of customer service skills and serious diversity issues when it comes to their contemptible treatment of minorities and non-US citizens.
Here's where my sponsors will probably jump ship UN-POLITICALLY CORRECT TIME - Consumer Manifesto:***
To any and all companies, financial institutions and agencies that think we, as customers, HAVE to give you our money, allow you to treat us like shit and pay for the privilege - Screw You! You Are Expendable!
Sue me! I pay rent to the family of Jack Shit. This is my opinion and I'm sticking with it.
For you solo entrepreneurs, your customers are the reason you get to live the lifestyle you choose and the life-blood of your business - without a customer you don't have a business. More importantly, if you treat your customers as if they are a bother - your competitors will be happy to take them off your hands.
As solo entrepreneurs, we're in the uncomfortable position of seeing the results of our Inner Idiot up-close when we least expect it.
If your own customer service skills could be better contact these folks out of Seattle Media Partners , and have them help you see beyond the short-term effects of your actions. Even if you are the only customer service employee in your solo business, take a few minutes to read a few of the articles on the site.
If training isn't one of your strengths either, have no fear. American Management Association offers good and affordable help that can get just about anyone you might hire up to speed. I've dealt with AMA, and unless they've changed drastically in the past 2 years, they know their stuff.
These are just the tip of the iceberg as far as customer service training goes, online there are hundreds (maybe I should send this post to the Board Chairman at Bank of America!). Find one that meets your needs and if you are still doing your own customer contact, good for you! But make certain your 'Inner Idiot' isn't the person running the show.
That's it for today and I leave you with this two-fer
If you make customers unhappy in the physical world, they might each tell 6 friends. If you make customers unhappy on the Internet, they can each tell 6,000 friends. - Jeff Bezos
The longer you wait, the harder it is to produce outstanding customer service. - William H. Davidow
Tiny URL links:
Multichannel Merchant
Business Know How
Bank of America
Sound Community Bank
Media Partners
American Management Assn
Who Is Jack Shit
